Year A Proper 18 2023 When Things Fall Apart

 Year A Proper 18, 10 September 2023

St. James the Less Episcopal, Ashland, VA

“When Things Fall Apart”

Collect: Grant us, O Lord, to trust in you with all our hearts; for, as you always resist the proud who confide in their own strength, so you never forsake those who make their boast of your mercy; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

Matthew 18:15-20

Jesus said, “If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”

Good morning, friends. We begin another program year today, and today begins my 7th year as your priest. Six years have come and gone so quickly! Unless you count COVID. That was a decade in exhaustion no matter how “long” it took. But we made it, and we are thriving. Thanks be to God!

We have replaced air handlers, and the organ. We have added stations of the Cross, replaced slippery steps, put in a labyrinth for contemplation, and built the pavilion for 101 different things. 4th Quarter ministries started and are restarting more fully. There is a lot of water under the bridge. We have had several staff changes, but every one of them has been a valued part of the team no matter how long they were here. Thanks be to God!

And so we begin, again. Thankfully God is a God of the Retake. And through that God makes ALL THINGS NEW! This is our new theme for the year, and we will be exploring that. You will hear me say in a 100 ways this year that you need to be in a discipling something: spiritual director, Sunday School, a group or situation where you can grow and be held accountable for your growth. We will be exploring that in the days and weeks to come, especially at the Shrine Mont retreat.

Know this, I am thankful that God brought me here, first as Priest-in-Charge then as your Rector, and I look forward to where God will take us together in the years to come. We have been graced with a Sabbatical Grant that will enable me to refresh and be more equipped to serve here in the future.

My first sermon here was on today’s readings, and what I said then still holds true. I use it in any group session I do. Last week’s sermon on how to have things go well. This week is where Jesus addresses when things fall apart. Jesus knows the importance of relationship, and that there is no way we can be at peace with God when we are in opposition to each other. If we cannot be at peace with those who we see, then the unseen is even more impossible.

So let’s be clear about what Jesus instructs us to do.

If you and a member of the Church have a conflict, you go to them. Directly. Quietly. Respectfully. One to One. This is so important. 

In our conflicts, especially in Southern Culture, we have a tendency to use shame to leverage someone’s behavior. It can be direct or passive-aggressive. Jesus’s way takes all that away. He is very clear, take someone with you ONLY if you cannot work it out alone. Now I would say that Jesus does not want you hurt or abused. If it is damaging to go directly or to attempt it, then ask for help.

What Jesus also is very clear about is not going behind the scenes and talking about the situation with one or twenty people to “get advice.” That is disrespectful to the person. They may have committed a faux pas more than a sin. You can figure it out together. If you scatter what they did around, then you are the one sinning.

But what if the one-on-one does not work, or they keep on doing the thing, or maybe even think that you are wrong and they are right? Then, bring in one or two to confer with you both. In Jesus’ day, you had to have that “more than one witness” to a crime or sin. If you remember the woman caught in adultery who was about to be stoned. For them to get to that point, several had to be in on the situation and had to have witnessed it.

These one or two are there to hold confidence, and maintain respect for both parties. We do not stack the deck with people from “our side.” But we seek those who help us seek truth, then accountability, and then reconciliation. I have been one of those parties in many a situation, couples, leaders here at church, but finding a way, often a middle way, has been so important. 

Remember, reconciliation is more than saying sorry. It is more than making amends. It is to again be within eyelash distance of one another. Re- again. -con- with. -cilia- eyelash or small hair. That is pretty close. That is what we are aiming for, an intimacy again that we have lost.

But what if the one on one, and trusted one or two does not work? Then we bring it to the church. Only then do we appeal to the body. And this is not through gossip or chit-chat.

This would have been formal, prayerful, and solemn. Friends, it is so important for us to be in good relationships with one another. At the end of the day, we are all we’ve got. This summer we have been inundated with pictures of disasters across the whole world, many in places that normally do not have them. And over and over again, as people have lost everything, they repeatedly say, “At least we have each other.”

And if the person in conflict with you does not listen to you, the trusted friends, or the church, then we are to treat them as someone not in the church. Jesus says, “...as a Gentile or a Tax Collector.”

So often this has been heard as exile or exclusion. But how did Jesus treat people, Gentiles and Tax Collectors? He was respectful. He showed mercy. He extended Grace. If we treat those who have wronged us the way Jesus treated Gentiles and Tax Collectors, then we are to love them. I used a phrase a few weeks ago, and I repeat it here. Instead of exclusion, some people are E.G.R.  Extra Grace Required. Instead of shaming or shunning, we find a way, if possible, to stay in relationship with them. This may or may not be possible. As I preached last week, St. Paul taught, “If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Romans 12:18 Sometimes, God help us, it is not possible. But we cannot declare that before we try.

I have been dealing with a situation, apart from anything or anyone in the church, for the last several months. It is one of those never-ending, absurd situations of modern life. It would be easy to point fingers, cast blame, or just raise up a cloud of curses that would never dissipate. Or I could recognize that Steph and I have done everything in our power to do, all our helpers and supportive agents have done everything in their power, and we will just have to wait for things to take their course. It is not easy, enjoyable, or sane even. But it is. And that is when I have to lean on Grace, for myself, the situation, and everyone involved. And were it in my power, to use it as an example so that it never happens to anyone else. Thankfully, I can say, that in God’s grace it wrapped up yesterday. Thanks be to God!

Then Jesus shows us how important we truly are. What we do now echoes through eternity…

“Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.”

So often when we hear this, we affix it to Peter, and the “keys to the Kingdom.” That is why keys are the symbol of the Pope to this day. It was true for Peter, but it is also true for us. When we ask forgiveness for our sins, and when we forgive others from their sins, we can be set free from the hard implications of them. Do they go away? No. Are there no ramifications? No. But we can find ways to ease the ripples across our common lake that sin causes.

Sin is like a big rock that somebody throws in a lake. We have no way of knowing where the ripples will go. And once they start, we are powerless to stop them. But then Jesus steps in, with his “Peace, be still.” And somehow, someway, while the rock is still at the bottom of the lake, the ripples are lessened and we all do better.

When we come to the prayer of confession, remember that. Loose here on earth, so it can be loosed in heaven. Confess and receive pardon. What a gift, especially in conflict with fellow believers.

 

Lastly, Jesus reminds us: 

“For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”

When we gather, we gather in Jesus’ name. In good times, but also in bad. Next time you have to have a hard situation, invite Jesus in. Invoke Jesus to be present. Wow! Think of what a difference that would make, especially when our blood is boiling and our ire is up. We could say something like this:

 Jesus, be in our midst, and as we struggle, calm us, reconcile us, and make us whole.

I bet the fight or “discussion” would go VERY differently.

Friends, not a one of us wants to be in conflict, if we are healthy, that is. There is often an unhealthy person who likes the drama, they strike a match to see how big the fire can get. God forgive them, and help them. We are promised that conflict will happen. We are promised that we can be loosed from these bad situations. We are promised that Jesus is in our midst, even then.

When things fall apart, know that they can be put back together, and Jesus is there to help us do it. In our conflicts, yes, even in our conflicts, he can make All Things New! Amen